Ali Shapiro

Chocolate Peanuts Covered with Peace

I expected the hyped post-wedding slump— and 10 pound weight-gain—to be false, like most
mainstream weight loss  information. Before my wedding, I was on an almost magical high from wedding planning and my husband’s acceptance to Iowa’s Masters Fiction Program. By attending this highly prestigious program, Carlos could make his dream of full time fiction writing financially feasible. 

Still, after my wedding and Carlos’s move, I found myself tired. Exhausted. Sad. While green smoothies, leafy greens, and whole foods were a constant, sadness and increasing amounts of dark chocolate had crept into my life.  

Life doesn’t always warrants a happy face. I encourage my clients to honor their emotions and use them as compasses to navigate through the resulting emotional fog.  I practice what I preach. I embraced my sadness, my anger, my cravings. After crying and pounding on some pillows, I wanted chocolate.  In my old emotional eating days, resistance and then bingeing would have followed.

But, now I know that:

1. You must embrace some cravings                                                            
2. Eat and enjoy without guilt and  
3. Don’t let going “off-track” ruin your day  

                                   I asked myself exactly what I wanted, and then bought the smallest size bag of
chocolate covered peanuts (a quarter pound!) from Nuts to You. I ate the entire 4 oz bag. For lunch. In peace. I accepted this is as where I was in that moment, my marriage, my life. The entire episode was over and done, without any guilt. 

The proof? I didn’t feel like eating for the rest of the day. Finally hungry again at a party that night, I ate a small portion of the healthiest option there: guacamole with a few chips. Years ago, the day would have been “ruined,” and the following days would have reverberated with yo-yo dieting and self-despair. I would have felt “too fat” to attend the party. Instead, I had fun at the party and awoke the next day feeling energized. I went to Lithe, the farmers market for my weekly cooking day, and back to my healthy routine.   

Since then, I’ve been on an upswing. My pre-wedding clothes fit fine. Life is emotional. Down times are inevitable. I will continue to seize these opportunities to further explore and understand my emotions, weight, and health by using and refining the same techniques I teach my clients. More difficult times will continue to be a source of breakthroughs and improvements. Weight loss and marriage are experiences. Perfections and ideals are symbolic, illusory  . . . Santa Claus, even for health counselors. 

To a season of peace, magic, and unexpected gifts from within.

 

 

Need a holiday eating plan? Get your Thanksgiving story straight

As a young child learning about Thanksgiving, I romanticized the early colonial period. The Pilgrims were innovating government while exchanging gifts and customs with the Native Americans. “Thanksgiving” was a celebration and symbol of this cross-cultural collaboration.

Soon, I learned a more realistic version of events: blankets were served with a side of Syphillis, a primarily peaceful society where women had status was viewed and treated as “savage.” By fourth grade we learned about the “Trail of Tears,” and well . . we all know how that story ended. Around the same time, I also lost my innocence surrounding food. Thanksgiving, once a family celebration that involved a short vacation to my aunt and uncles’ house (where my sister and I were always spoiled) now had a dark edge,—just like the Pilgrims.

For many years my understanding of my weight struggles were just as incomplete as a Kindergartner’s version of Thanksgiving. I thought they were just about food. Many of my clients also feel that a piece of their own personal story is incomplete. Their lives look great on paper, but they’re unhappy. Something is missing. Initially, they believe that thinness is this missing and crucial chapter. Soon, they discover that the loss of their authentic voice and continually ignoring their own wants makes their story not their own, their weight uncontrollable. 

The holiday season can be a cornucopia of these emotional frustrations and pressures. Without listening to personal limits and desires, food has tyranny over many women—especially during the holidays.

It’s time to opt-out of a convenient history, the one that celebrates self-sacrificing women.  Ask temporarily inconvenient questions like “What if I don’t attend ___ holiday party” or “What happens if I only make one type of cookie this year.” Spoiler alert: nothing happens, nobody remembers, you may actually enjoy the holidays, and your clothes don’t get tighter. 

But, like a new land full of disease and agricultural challenges, the holidays are a tricky environment. Discovering your individual needs and implementing them without guilt is challenging, particularly during the holidays. But, these challenges often results in the most important breakthroughs for my clients. The first workshop in my newly designed Eating Elegance step by step process speaks specifically to these needs during the holidays. This new concept examines how our own physical space and its organization reflect and create a feedback loop with our inner emotions. This workshop is designed to transform how you experience rest, relaxation, rejuvenation, and organization, the root cause of the on/off-track eating cycle, particulary during the holidays. I am thrilled to announce that Linda Hallinan, Martha Stewart’s former coordinator, will be joining me to give her expert advice on physical redesign and organization. Space is limited, so sign up here soon.

To a complete Thanksgiving.

Pagan Weight Loss Tools & Virtual Truce with Food

From ancient times to Modern Day America people have celebrated the harvest. In less-technologically advanced ages, the Harvest also meant canning, storing, and hunting for the leaner winter ahead. For ancient cultures, the harvest and its abundance were cues to be resourceful.

During my dieting days, I never looked at times of abundance, whether with food or work, as ways to be resourceful. I equated resourcefulness with Spartanism: staying within self-appointed calorie limits, exercising six days a week, and avoiding occasions—such as dinner with friends and parties— where my “will power” would fail. Fun wasn’t possible anyway, until I arrived at my goal weight. Life would be one huge party then. Eventually with exhaustion and frustration from my efforts, I’d go back to my old eating habits.

Then, I didn’t realized that abundance could teach me resourcefulness. The hints were less than subtle that, just as during harvest time, I needed to do some hard and clever work. But, I needed to direct my energy towards improving other areas of my life, not towards diets and the treadmill. As I found and focused on other pleasures, food, previously at the center of my life, dwindled in significance.

This happened through a process of sowing, reaping, and storing. It started with small action: leaving my laptop at work to focus on other outside interests which made me more productive in fewer hours, committing to spending an hour or so outside of my apartment after work instead of in front of the TV. These early success provided the momentum that eventually lead to a complete career and life shift. Still, figuring out these small first steps is the hardest.

A good starting point to planting a better life is to ask: “What am I only tolerating in my life?” Then decide which easy changes will make the most of where you are in life now. My clients are always shocked at what these beginning steps reveal and the changes they set in motion—both in their weight and their lifestyle. And, just as rationing and storing seems a paradoxical response to abundance, doing what is initially frightening can result in feeling secure. As you become more resourceful, you become confident that you can handle whatever life throws your way. You begin to make decisions from a place of empowerment, not fear. 

So in honor of both Halloween and the Harvest, I challenge you to do one thing that scares you this October. Say no to a dreaded and unnecessary obligation. Leave your work laptop at the office one or two nights a week. Hire a cleaning service to take something off your plate. Spend an evening confronting your closet and make it reflect your identity now. You may be surprised at the bumper crops that result from planting these few seeds.

To a home-made harvest.

P.S. – In response to an abundance of requests from people outside of Philadelphia and my Truce with Food Program selling out early, I am offering a virtual lunch hour Truce with Food by phone beginning on Thursday, October 20^th by phone. This group will also be limited so please reserve early to preserve your spot.

 

Images via Etsy and Now Breaking News